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I am Resolved

They will receive blessing from the Lord . . .(Psalm 24:5a NRSV)

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This practice of new year resolutions has taken many forms for me. For many years, the highlight of January 1st was to write out resolutions. Then my lack of keeping them dampened my enthusiasm. I gave them new names like goals and intentions, and recently (the past few years), I’ve distilled my need for a fresh focus into one word. And it works for me, so far.

I was surprised by the word that surfaced for 2019. Last year, my life was marked by release. And it was good. I got rid of stuff. I poured more into my creative life.  I worked on some creative writing and shared it with select groups for feedback.

So when, “receive” kept showing up in my journal writing, I resisted. How can a person who has mastered release, now expect to be open to “receive.” It feels awkward, and sort of humiliating. I’m a strong person, who gets rid of stuff, shares generously with others and pushes through creative blocks. I am a giver, not a receiver!

At least that’s the rant going on inside my head at the beginning of this journey. I will learn to be more receptive. I will accept the gift(s) of what it means to receive.

Part of receiving, coincides with my resolve to write daily. So far, so good. I think writing is one way to receive the gift of each day. By putting words on the page, I record thoughts, and often receive surprising insights and inspiration.

I’ve enjoyed responding to the ideas in the 365 book. (That’s what I’m calling it.) Day two encouraged me to write a list of resolutions. First response . . . resistance. Second response . . . oooh, a list! The freedom in this idea included writing down as many resolutions, as I wanted. Then, I was to go back over the list, and choose three. After choosing three, I could make a promise to keep those resolutions.

As often happens, when I tackle a prompt, it goes in a whole different direction, which is exactly why I like responding to prompts in my journal.

I wrote the list. I took a picture of part of it. (See above) On a side trip, I looked up the definition for resolution. Resolution means: “a firm decision to do or not do something” or “the action of solving a problem, dispute or contentious matter.” (www.dictionary.com)

Looking up the definition, actually released me from my prejudice of making and keeping resolutions. I felt more choice than I had in the past. I am capable of making firm decisions. I like solving problems. Maybe I could receive some resolutions this year. Yet, something else happened . . .  the resolutions morphed into affirmations. Here’s what I wrote:

I promise to believe in my abilities, skills, and experience. I will trust GOD with all my ways, being and doing.

I promise to accept the things I cannot change, to acknowledge when I am powerless.

I promise not to doubt my abilities, skills, and experience. I will listen to my desires, dreams, ambitions and even my intuitive bent, which includes wild, off the wall, weird and paradoxical ideas.

How do you feel about resolutions? If you were to receive a word for 2019, what would it be?

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