We plan the way we want to live,
but only God makes us able to live it.
(Proverbs 16:9 The Message)
After the observance of Epiphany, the church calendar returns to Ordinary Time. Not plain time, but ordinal, as in numbering our days.
Last week, I was mulling over my word for the year:
As I considered desire, I recorded a list of seven desires for 2013 in my planner. Each word ended in the suffix of “–ation” or a form of it, which means the act of something. As I observed this commonality, my heart ignited with hope for intentional, creative action this year.
I often do not do what I want. My life has been formed more by oughts and shoulds, rather than wants. Caring for others drove my plans as a young mother. Today, with grown children, my planner is wide open for new adventures and uncharted territories.
So, the other day I courageously wrote in my journal, “I want to . . .”
Saying, “I want to” out loud was quite liberating. (And saying “I don’t want to” can be just as freeing. Try it sometime.)
So here’s a glimpse into some of my heart desires and creative pursuits for 2013:
I want to join a book club.
I want to participate in community theatre.
I want to take a yoga class.
I want to clean out the fridge.
I want to pray more for my friends.
I want to inspire creativity with others.
I want space to write.
I want to learn more.
I want to be an entrepreneur.
Some lofty aspirations, some recreational outlets and some ordinary tasks came to mind. But even the ordinary task of cleaning out the fridge felt more like joy than drudgery. I used to think saying “I want to” was selfish, but this little exercise showed me that wanting or desiring things can be very healthy and fulfilling. I feel like a tree flourishing in season, producing life for itself and others.
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