Over the years I have found my journal to be a place, where I cultivate trust. Today, I am linking with Dawn and others who love journaling! I am the guest “hostess.” I will be giving away a copy of my book: Defining Moments and a blank art journal. Head over there and leave a comment or link-up with a brave offering from your journal to enter the giveaway.
For RJD, I decided to share from one of my earliest journals. The entries are from 1985-1986. In the spring of 1986 I began asking myself if I was falling in love.
Looking back makes me smile, as I read about whether or not Les was the “kinda guy” for me. (We will have been married for 28 years in October!)
23 Feb 86
Another area that I haven’t shared here in my place of deepest desires and emotions [my journal] is my relationship with Les Rohlf. I guess I’ll start from the beginning…
[I’ll leave out some of the boring parts.]
I’ve known Les since I got here in July. [We both were stationed at Laughlin AFB, TX.] The first time we talked at length was after the Oct. conference. It ended up [just] Les and I riding back together. At the time I didn’t think Les was the kinda guy I would be interested in.
In a way its really interesting how our friendship has been developing. [really the next parts aren’t interesting…we rode together to San Antonio one weekend, we went on a double date, etc]
[I write about how I committed my feelings for Les to God. And how I like being with him. Then I write about my fears…]
Fears…at this time are that although everything is low key…my heart of hearts becomes anxious and desires more. I’m not sure exactly why. Is it because I’m in love with love or in love with Les? I want to be sure it’s not the first because that’s not fair to Les. How can I be sure Lord that Les is the one? Why do I keep thinking about that? Do I just want to love someone? No! I want to love the person You give me. I know I choose to continue to date Les, but it’s because I really enjoy his company and friendship. Sometimes I truly want to meet his needs. And he makes me feel secure and trusted. He’s very patient and understanding.
I commit this to you, O Lord, because you promise to lead me in the straight and narrow way. I trust you!
[I love how the journaling “conversation” leads to an expression of trust in the Lord!]
Here’s another except that confirms to me that Les is the one!
It was fun to go back in time, and once again see God’s faithfulness in bringing Les and I together. Our journals are a great place to converse with God over the little and the big decisions of life!
Don’t forget to check out the RJD Link-Up and enter the giveaway!