desire, distraction, journaling, one word, Random Journal Day, ravel, unravel, want, year

Ravel: To Become Entangled or Confused {Random Journal Day}

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw offer everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us . . . (Hebrews 12:1 NIV)

This morning as I went to pull out a random journal, I intentionally found the one from the beginning of the year. I was on a quest to unravel my motive for my “One Word” that I chose eight months ago. My word is . . .

I wanted to choose “want,” but it seemed too grabby and selfish. So, I went with desire, which rolls off the tongue with ease and grandeur. Where has this one word taken me this year? Back to the heart of God over and over again. Why? Because my desires and His desires are not always in sync. I become confused and easily entangled by the desires clawing at me through every medium possible. My phone, the internet, magazines, TV shows and movies, songs on the radio. Books piled around my house beckoning me to read them. So many distractions and choices. 

Some of the choices and distractions are benign, and even good like spending time with friends. However to stay focused on the “race marked out for me,” I often have to say no to good things.

My work is to write words. God has made that clear to me several times. And I want to live a writing life. I love journals and discovery collage and sketching because all of these activities feed my created soul and fuel my writing endeavors.

My desire for writing words is to encourage others to discover their created self. To offer words to feed your soul and dare you to embark on your path and persevere in your race. 

May God unravel those places in your soul that need to breathe, to be expressed and to be scribed or scribbled down on some piece of paper. Your journaling technique is yours alone. I am just sharing mine so you can see that it is possible to explore, enjoy and embrace your created self!

For a treat to myself, I created a journal collaged with magazine pictures and white space for writing and sketching. This journal began during Advent 2012 and goes through the month of January 2013.

This entry was a 5 Minute Quick Write response to the doodling on the top of the page, which I titled, “raveled.” 

raveled instead of unraveled, tightly woven around a central image–a story inside a book, stacked on top of another book, unearthed treasure, waiting potential
knowledge tied up in packages unopened
I prefer raveled–untouched, kept together–if I read will I get tangled or untangled or mired into deeper questions of quest and conquest?
untouched emotions– a place to write freely of how I feel, of how untapped potential lies latent unafraid yet fearful of emerging or plunging or expunging or accusing or bruising my egotistical soul life–life untouched, unwanted, desired and unwanted at the same time
will I be too rough and uncomfortable
will I cause embarrassment or shame
unashamed  unfettered  unbelievable
the piles of unread, unheard, unseen aspects of my life hidden below sub par standard
guilt, risk, freedom–tight, constricted, raveled, woven
no thread to pull to wreck the image– a wrecked image, a ruined reputation-who the hell cares? I care. you care. he cares. she cares. we all care–but I want to live a carefree life!

A journal is a safe place to vent, a real place to reach into uncensored parts of ourselves. It is vulnerable to share these musings here, but I hope this glimpse into my raveled self, unravels in you a desire to find your own safe place to write and express what is inside you. Journaling, for me is a form of prayer, a dialogue between my created self and our Creator God.

What draws you to journaling?